IFS is a way of experiencing your inner world

Internal Family Systems (IFS) is a way of noticing how you experience thoughts, feelings, sensations, and how you respond to situations and other people as a result. Through the IFS lens, you may conceive of your thoughts, feelings, and sensations as “parts.” Perhaps you have said something like, “Part of me really wants to, but another part is too scared.”

Get to know your parts

In IFS, parts may be identified as having certain qualities described as Managers, Firefighters, or Exiles.

Managers help you get things done by anticipating outcomes and recalling previous mistakes so that we can continue to improve. Managers are essential to getting by in our modern world.

However, Managers may overdo their job and create havoc for you in the form of self-criticism, shame, and negativity causing anxiety or depression.

Firefighters are highly reactive to challenging emotions like sadness, shame, guilt, or envy. Firefighters try to extinguish the flames of negative emotions to help you feel better so you can carry on.

Unfortunately, firefighters may lead you to depend on ways to avoid difficult emotions, often resulting in addiction or feeling numb.

Exiles are the tender parts within us that that have experienced trauma or have been emotionally harmed in some way, usually in childhood. Exiles have receded behind the protection of Managers and Firefighters so they can stay safely tucked away from feeling more pain.

Often, the work of IFS is to allow your protective parts to feel safe enough to allow Exiles to heal and be liberated so that you can have a more balanced and functional internal system.

In my IFS work with clients, I am less concerned about labeling parts in this way than to notice the parts that emerge, helping you to connect with them by noticing their tendencies and concerns.

Self-Energy settles your parts helping them work together

The central force for healing and regulating your internal system in IFS is the Self or Self-Energy. Self-Energy may be conceived of as your essence, perhaps your higher self, or that aspect of you that is unencumbered by your ego. Self-Energy is composed of the 8 Cs – compassion, curiosity, clarity, creativity, calm, confidence, courage, and connectedness.

Often, the reason you may be seeking therapy is because you are not experiencing some of the qualities of Self-Energy. Perhaps you have a low self-image, lack self-compassion, find it difficult to connect to others, feel depressed or anxious, or are inhibited from pursuing things that are important to you. You may have these problems because of pain from the past or you have adapted in ways that helped you previously, but no longer serve you.

The primary purpose of IFS is to help you cultivate your Self-Energy and gain awareness of it, so you are able to connect your Self-Energy to your parts whenever they seem disturbed or in need of support. My goal as your IFS therapist is to help you learn to do this without my guidance.

I’m not sure about conceiving of myself as a bunch of parts

Some people really take to experiencing their inner world by noticing their “parts” while others may find this difficult. If the idea of attending to various “parts” of yourself is challenging, we may either be curious about the part that finds that unsatisfactory or we can decide to apply IFS to your thoughts, feelings, and sensations without calling them parts. Regardless, as your therapist, I will adapt my approach to fit your needs and discover what works best for you.

I am an experienced and highly qualified IFS therapist having received formal training by the IFS Institute. If you’re curious about how IFS can help you, call me at (512) 656-9877 or complete the contact form below.